The reason why I started this is because I want to be less afraid.
I want to be less afraid to venture out into the unknown, even if that means being out of my comfort zone. Especially if it involves something I always wanted to do, but never thought I could.
I’ve always wanted to write. Growing up, I loved reading. And so naturally, I wanted to be an author. How amazing would it be if I could create my own world, one with infinite possibilities, for not just myself to revel in, but also for others to enjoy and connect with? It would be so cool to have my name on the cover of a book. Okay maybe a pen name, because no non-Chinese person can ever pronounce my name right on the first (or even hundredth) try. But still.
There were times I thought I was getting closer to my goal, like when teachers told me they liked to read what I write because I had a different and unusual perspective, or when they told me I should “put my writing skills to good use”. Then there are the times where I gave up, because I can never be up there. There are so many people out there better than me, and I am nowhere on par with them. And I’ve never actually finished any actual story I started. So starting would just lead to failure, and it’d be so much easier for me to just not start, so that way I can’t say I’ve failed.
But then I realise that not starting is equivalent to failing. In fact, it is worse than failing. And I should never, ever compare my start to someone else’s middle. (I read that somewhere, one day when I was scrolling on Pinterest, which is one of the things I like to do when I’m really bored but I don’t have that much time to kill.) It’s been stuck in my head ever since I realised that.
Suddenly it didn’t make sense for me to compare myself to others, not at all. Nobody ever started out a hundred percent amazing, even if they had a natural flair at doing something. Even the fastest swimmers and sprinters, the most expressive artists, the most eloquent speakers, they all had their fair share of practice, of ups and downs and curveballs being thrown at them. They didn’t just start out amazing and at the top in just one second. It had to take work to reach the top, and/or to stay there.
So by starting this blog, I’m merely doing myself a favour. To stop restricting myself, and venture further.
Hustling; black & bold it.